Author: Mindee Jorgensen

Conan Neutron and the Secret Friends Midwest Tour 2024

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Including a Hometown show in Sioux City and Caterwaul 2024

I had a great time reuniting with my bandmates Conan, Tony, and Dusty for a short Midwest run of shows. I also made many new friends including Loren, who played second guitar on the first 3 shows.

Late in the evening, after a long day of travel, I arrived in Omaha NE and met up with Conan, and met (literally lol) Loren. As usual Tony’s flight was delayed, so we got some food at the ever famous midwest late night diner… Perkins. Living classy. The diner drama we were entertained by while indulging in our fancy fried feast included the overnight waitress being a no call no show, and the one server on the floor was moments away from snapping. The tension from the kitchen radiated out into the dining room.

That night was a hotel night, and we awoke to a sweltering hot midwest morning. First things first, we had to rehearse. Our one and only practice was the morning of the 1st show. It was at the Omaha Guitar Center, which was super accommodating and friendly. After a few hours of rehearsal we hit the road to my hometown of Sioux City Iowa.

I gave the band a warning that Sioux City smelled, but they were still blown away by the stench of the air as we rolled into the city limits. We stopped at Floyds monument for some Sioux City photos, and then took a nice break from the heat at The Siouxland Conservatory of Music.

The show was amazing, it was at a very cool coffee shop/art gallery. It was all ages so I got to see not only my friends and family, but also all their little ones. So many good friends showed up, and I also got to spend some time with my Dad. We did a late night La Jua’s dinner, and then stayed with my BFF’s Sam and Jenny, who made sure we were cozy and comfortable.

The next day was a 7 hour drive across the monotonous state of Iowa to Madison WI. Iowa isn’t quite as boring to look at as Nebraska, but close!

The Madison show was fun, and the green room looked like it hadn’t been changed, or cleaned, since the 70’s. The whole room had a yellow tint from years of smoking. The next day, Milwaukee had a similar time capsule green room, complete with a rotary land line phone.

Milwaukee was an afternoon show, and we played promptly at 4. Tony had a flight to catch which departed at 530, so we were on a time crunch. He had an uber waiting and was off stage and out the door before the feedback of our last song subsided. It was a very rock n roll exit, and he did make his flight.

I had the next day off in Milwaukee and got some much needed alone time. I went to a cool bio-dome place to look at the plants and habitats, got a haircut, took a walk by the river, and had some coffee with Loren. Oh, and of course did my laundry.

We were up and out the door at 7am, to make it to a radio interview at 8. I was so tired, any questions they directed to me were all one word answers lol. Then a few hours drive into Louisville to grab Tony and Dusty on our way to Cincinnati.

Yeah…..Cincinnati was the bummer show of the tour. The rest were pretty good but this one was so off. We played to no one, didn’t get paid, and the local bands lacked proper band etiquette. On the bright side we played a killer set, super tight! We then drove like 2 hours back to Louisville where we had a killer Air B+B waiting for us. I got my own room and bathroom, yeah! We got to sleep in too.

The next day was the Louisville show, so we had a free afternoon with no driving. We got a fancy breakfast and then did some of the tourist stuff. We went to see Coronal Sander’s grave, and a super sweet hotel from the 20’s where Al Capone had a bunch of secret rooms and passageways.

The show was great! The venue was Planet of the Tapes, and had so many cool things to look at. It was our first night with Part Chimp, and they are a killer band and solid dudes. I also have friends in Louisville and it was nice to see familiar faces. To top it off there was even a storm!

Next day we were off to Chicago. After a semi long drive, (longer than it needed to be thanks to traffic,) we stopped by a cool music store where Tony fell in love with a white Flying V custom bass. We ate some amazing Thai food, and I really needed a vegetable so that was great. I swear we stopped at a gas station rest stops where the only vegetable in the whole store was a pickle, ugh.

Chicago was for me the best show, both playing wise and all around great time. Huge crowd, every band was good, the bartenders were a blast, made new friends, and probably got too drunk…almost. The drive to the hotel I had to hold the new Flying V, since it didn’t have a case yet. In return I was allowed to name it and went with Paddington V.

Friday was a drive day, Chicago to Minneapolis for the 1st day of the 4 day Caterwaul fest. Dusty’s band was playing, and Conan runs the fest, so they were both a bit on edge. I just got to sit back and enjoy the day…as much as you can in a van for 8 hours. The bar on Friday night was cool, but I was worn out and my ears needed some silence. Tony and I were going to uber back to our swanky Air B+B (another room all to myself for 3 days…yesssss….) However, it was like 50 dollars so we decided to walk the 3 miles. It was a nice night and good exercise after a day in the van.

Saturday was our day to play at the fest. It was an outdoor stage at Palmer’s bar. A full day of bands, and we were on in the middle. I kinda felt like a rock star with workers who unloaded the van and set everything up. I will say it wasn’t my best set of the tour, the only one I really made an mistakes. I believe because I mistook a THC beverage for just CBD…and it hit right as I was on stage lol. It was still a kick ass solid set.

After that my duties of tour were done. I had Sunday as a day off in MN, where I did laundry and took a long walk by the river, and then hung out at the fest. My flight home was Monday morning at 6am midwest time, so by the time I got to LA I was so jet lagged. Took a nap, but my band BFF’s Lung were in town and staying at my studio. So it was one more night of music before my ears got a day of silence. It was great seeing Lung, I love that band. Some of the coolest and realist people I know.

So, that was my tour. People ask how was your tour, and there is so much to it I can’t really answer in one word, even one sentence. Very up and down, good shows and bad. Cozy beds and crappy beds. Long drives and easy days. The cool thing about touring is it keeps me grounded and in the moment. You never know what the day will bring and have to be able to go with the flow no matter what obstacles come your way. I love touring, and it also makes me appreciate my home life, apartment, and cats. It is like I get to live 2 different lifestyles. Road life and home life.

A few songs from our Chicago gig at The Liar’s Club.

Conan Neutron and the Secret Friends March tour with mclusky!

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I hit the road for a quick 4 show tour with my friends Conan, Dusty, and Tony (aka Conan Neutron and the Secret Friends) at the beginning of March. We did a couple shows on our own in Newport Beach and Bakersfield, and then opened for our friends mclusky at The Echoplex in Los Angeles, and The Rickshaw Stop in San Francisco.

Lots of good times, although I wish it wasn’t such a short tour! We were just getting warmed up! Good news though, we are doing a longer tour in May! That tour will be starting in my hometown of Sioux City IA on May 17th!! Going to be seeing you soon midwest friends!

Scroll to the bottom for a video of our Echoplex Soundcheck of a new unreleased song, “Who Dares!”

mclusky and the Secret Friends (📸 by Monmarphotography)
Live in SF
Soundcheck at The Echoplex
📸 by Monmar
📸 by Monmar
Packing up at 1am
The plexiglass has come between us
After the set…
Before the set…
📸 by Monmar

The Last of the Firsts

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Surviving the year after losing the love of my life.

 

 In 3 days it will be the 1 year anniversary of losing my love Manny. It still doesn’t feel real at times. I know part of me is still in shock. This past year is somewhat of a blur. How did I make it this far? A year of counting the days, weeks and months go by.

  It was also a full year of painful firsts. My first Valentines Day without Manny, which was also the day he was cremated. My first 4th of July without him. July 6th was his first heavenly birthday, which we celebrated with a BBQ in his honor. 

 The 1st Halloween without Manny was a bittersweet one; it was also my last Holiday with Elvis. My friend Heidi and I took Elvis trick-or-treating in his stroller. He wasn’t his usual excited self and slept most of the time. Shortly after I had to make the painful decision to put Elvis to sleep peacefully at home. A decision I wasn’t supposed to make alone. 

Elvis lived a full 10 months after Manny passed. This year is a blur but I know those 10 months were focused on loving and caring for Elvis as a single senior dog mom. It was not an easy task, but one that kept me occupied and gave me focus. It forced me out of bed on the hard days, and out into the sun. I took Elvis on park adventures, hikes, and strolls. I made sure his last days were filled with love and adventures.

 Then it was the 1st Thanksgiving without Manny, and the 1st holiday without Elvis. I spent it with Manny’s family, just like I have in years past. I am blessed to still be a part of his family, but it was a hard holiday for us all.

 My first birthday without Manny was November 30th. Manny always went out of his way to make me feel special on my birthday. I missed him so much this day. My birthday last year was the last time I saw his band live, and the last time we played together on stage. 

 Despite the emotions my birthday brought up, it was a wonderful day thanks to my many friends. I seriously could not have made it through this year without the support of my friends. One thing this tragedy has shown me is how many genuine friends I have in my life, and how much they love me.

I traveled to spend Christmas with my family at my sisters house. It helped to be out of LA spending time with my adorable nephews. It was a nice distraction, although I still felt the heartache of his absence.

 I flew back on New Years Eve, and made it back to my apartment at 11pm. I thought I would be alright. That I would be tired from traveling all day (I was) and would just unpack and snuggle with the cats. About 10 minutes to midnight, a huge wave of panic hit me like a ton of bricks. I didn’t want the year to end. It felt like it was putting more distance between me and the time when Manny was alive. I wen’t from saying “Manny passed away this year” to “Manny passed away last year” in the blink of an eye. There was also a touch of survivors guilt, that I lived to see 2024 and he didn’t. 

  We always spent NYE together. More recently, we would spend each NYE at home, and watch our neighborhood go crazy with fireworks at midnight. The sound of the fireworks celebrating the new year was like a punch in the gut that night. At least the fireworks drowned out the sound of my tears.

 The only first left is the first anniversary of his passing. I can’t believe the resiliency it took to survive this year of painful firsts. I don’t think I am strong, I hate when people tell me that. I did what I had to to survive this painful loss, I had no choice. 

 There will be a memorial show for Manny on the anniversary of his passing, January 6th, at The Old Town Pub. His band The Richard Ramirez Beatdown will be playing with Altair on bass, and I will be joining them for a song. We are doing a Dangerously Sleazy song or two as well.

 I appreciate everyone who has been keeping his memory alive this year, and please continue to as the years go by. I know I can never forget him.

Conan Neutron and The Secret Friends October 2023 Tour Photos

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Tour Blog of My Time Drumming with Conan Neutron and The Secret Friends.

With all the obstacles and grief this year as thrown my way, I am so grateful I had the opportunity to go on a fun West Coast tour playing drums for Conan Neutron and the Secret Friends on their “Adult Prom Tour” with the band Lung.

Lung and Conan Neutron and the Secret Friends on the last day of tour.

When Conan first messaged me about playing drums on this 9 day tour, it was the night before I was leaving on my Yosemite National Park vacation with my hiking buddy Jazmin. I was like “Yes…well I mean probably yes, but I have some questions, but I can’t talk for like 4 days. Can you hold my spot til then?” Thankfully he did and after nice chat it sounded like it would be a good fit and I said OK.

I did a “practice” show with Conan and bassist Tony in Kentucky in September. That was a fun experience, although there was very limited practice time together as a band. I mostly studied and learned the songs alone, and we got one long practice in the day before the gig. It was a bit rough, but I was able to make notes on the parts I could improve on, nail down the tempos, and be even more prepared for the tour.

The first show of the tour was in Phoenix, and I flew in the day before. Conan picked me up and we went to meet Dusty at her job at Fender Headquarters. This was the 1st time I had met Dusty, but it was instantly apparent that she was a genuinely sweet person who was also a badass musician and super knowledgable about guitars. Getting a tour of Fender HQ was awesome, I don’t think I have ever seen so many guitars at one time.

Due to Tony’s flight being delayed, the only practice we got together as a 4 piece was 5 hours the day of the first show…in the 100+ degree heat of Phoenix. A small reminder that being a drummer is an actual “job” and very hard work that takes focus and discipline.

The first show went pretty smoothly and the four of us jelled well together. It was also my first night meeting the band Lung. Three super down to earth and kind people. Daisy is the drummer, Kate plays electric cello and sings, and Rochelle does all the art. I had checked their music out before the tour and loved what I heard. It was even more impressive live!! I was so excited for the LA show and for all my friends to catch them.

The second show was Los Angeles. I was only in town for about 15 hours. I did get to sleep in my own bed though, and lots of good friends came to see us! The rest of the tour included San Francisco, Sacramento, Reno, Eugene, Portland, Bellingham, and Seattle.

I was so excited about the Seattle show. For one, my best friend Joe Ross came and I got to stay with him and have some nice catch up time with one of my oldest friends! It was also a festival and the stage we played was in the middle of a roller rink. We also got to play with a long time favorite band, Big Business!

This tour was such a fun experience with some kind and supportive people. It was a much needed escape from the challenges and grief I have been facing. I am excited to play with Conan, Tony, and Dusty again in the future, and I can’t wait for the next time I get to rock out to Lung.

The Last Popsicle

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January 5th 2023 Manny walked down to the corner store to grab a beer as he did on so many nights, and came back with popsicles for us. He knows I love sweets and would often surprise me with treats. He ate his popsicle, but I wasn’t hungry and decided to save mine for the next day.

That next day turned out to be one of the worsts days of my life. I was in shock, panicked, distressed, traumatized and heartbroken. My love was gone. I left with Manny’s family to his grandma’s house where Elvis and I stayed, stopping back only to feed the cats. All the while that popsicle was sitting in the freezer.

A week later I returned to the apartment to spend the night in my bed, shower in my shower, and see if staying in the apartment was something I was ready to handle. It still felt comfortable, safe, and like home, but with a big piece missing. My own bed was soothing, despite the immense amount of tears falling on my pillow. I slept on Manny’s side of the bed because the pain of rolling over to him not being where he should be was unbearable.

Aside from sleeping, I had someone with me almost non-stop those first weeks. A rotation of close and caring friends that I am forever grateful for. They forced me to eat, cried with me, fed my pets and took out the trash. I could barely do the most simple of tasks. I was completely helpless and in survival mode, but without the drive to survive.

In my fridge sat the popsicle. The last treat Manny bought for me. A lot of people say they can’t imagine what it is like. Try to picture everything surrounding the person you love and share your life with is over in an instant without warning. No chance to say one more thing, give one more hug and kiss, or look forward to the future together. No more memories to be made, what you had is all you get. You frantically try to collect and store all the memories before they fade, as an excruciating reverse countdown starts. He was alive just yesterday…one week ago…2 weeks…one month…3 months…

That first month I could barely eat any food, let alone a popsicle. The second month it was a reminder of the sweet little things he would do for me. The third month it was some of the only food left in our kitchen that he had purchased. The popsicle “expires” in 2024, although there already seems to be a bit of ice forming on it. It was the final little gift from my love, but I can’t save it forever. People say things like “he would want you to be happy…” Well, I think that he probably would want me to eat the popsicle.

So, somewhere during this unexpected journey of sorrow I decided on a date to eat the popsicle. July 6th 2023. It is both his birthday, and exactly 6 months since his passing. Another milestone in the reverse countdown of grief.

This was when we went to Medieval Times for his Birthday.

The time is almost here. That date is less than a week away and the popsicle is waiting for me. I wonder if anyone else has ever been so emotional over a popsicle? The last few days I have been crying over it. Should I wait longer to eat it? Will I even be able to do it? It feels like a piece of him that is still here will be going away.

This is something I never would have imagined before being faced with this. Attaching enormous emotions and meaning to the smallest things. Saving socks and tooth brushes. Not cleaning that spot on the window that has his handprint on it. Not washing his pillows or the last shirt he wore. Not being able to throw away his shrimp ramen noodles, even though I hate shrimp.

It doesn’t get better with time, it gets different. Life is evolving around my grief but when a wave hits it stings as much as the first day. I am still able to enjoy the things that have always brought me joy- drumming, nature, hiking, music, friends, animals. Somedays I don’t cry at all. Most days I just have one little swell of tears. Somedays my plans are held hostage by the weeping. Today has been one of those days. It was because I looked in the freezer and saw that popsicle, a reminder that the 6 month mark is almost here.

Discussing our relationship. A clip from Dangerously Sleazy being interviewed on “Talking Neat,” a show where we tried fancy whiskeys during the interview. Watch the Full Interview on Youtube.

Yosemite Adventure 2023

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I just got back from an amazing vacation to Yosemite National Park. A place I have wanted to visit for years. I went with my good friend and hiking BFF Jazmin. Most people are not down to hike 15 miles in one day, but she is! We hiked about 28 miles in 4 days…the 3rd day being about 2 miles during our lunch break on the ride home.

We brought food to pack lunches and had lovely picnics each day, deep within the majestic nature. Thursday we drove up North, stopping in Sequoia National Park for a quick hike, followed by a nice dinner at a special restaurant where Manny and I ate when we visited the park in 2017. They had amazing Chili Rellenos, and we always wanted to return. I probably teared up eating those tasty chilis, remembering the fun vacation Manny and I took 6 years ago. Manny wasn’t a big nature fan, but he went with me that year to check out the Giant Sequoias.

We got to our hotel and relaxed for the evening, preparing for our big day in the morning. Jazmin had a free hotel voucher, so we were staying about an hour and a half away from the park, but worth it for sure! The next day we woke up early and headed to the park. It was a beautiful drive and we were so excited. Of course, lots of traffic getting into the park, and even more once we hit Yosemite Valley. The view after we exited the tunnel was amazing though. The place I always wanted to see, and pictures don’t even begin to do this magical valley justice. The first place we stopped was Bridal Veil Falls. Due to the extreme snowfall this winter, it was rushing and roaring. We got soaked from the mist.

Then, it was a long time of driving, looking for parking. The Valley is beautiful, but overly packed with tourists, ugh. We finally found a spot near the Village store. We walled by Yosemite Falls and through the Valley to our hiking trail. We chose the Four Mile Trail, a steep trail across from Yosemite Falls with majestic views of the park. It is strenuous trail, and thus not as not crowded with tourists. We appreciated the solitude and the other determined hikers on the trail. Lots of steep switchbacks, and constant views. By the time we reached nearly the top we were higher than the falls. We had an amazing view of Half Dome, the Falls, and the Valley.

By the time we got back down the trail it was evening. We walked back through the valley in the dark, stopping to gaze at the amazing stars. We even saw a shooting star! It was a very long day, we hiked about 13 very steep miles, and got back to the hotel after 1am.

Well rested on Saturday, we drove out towards the park. We stopped at a gift and antique shop, grabbing some magnets that we like to collect on our trips. Our legs and feet were sore from the day before, but we ending up hiking a secluded trail to a waterfall, about 10 miles. We then drove around the park (avoiding the Valley…too many tourists lol.). We stayed until Sundown before heading back.

Sunday we packed up and hit the road back to Los Angeles. We stopped at Pyramid Lake for lunch, and got in a couple more miles of exploring before rolling back into LA.

I am really grateful to have Jazmin as a hiking buddy. She loves nature and hiking and is willing to go on these long and crazy adventures. She is more of a risk taker than I am and kind of pushes me out of my comfort zone. We share an explorer spirit and drive to travel and see the world.

One thing I have always wanted to do is explore the many natural wonders of the world. After losing Manny, I was trying to think of a reason to push forward in life, a goal or something to fill my time and give me something to look forward too. I have decided I want to visit as many national parks as I can. There are so many beautiful places in the country, and I would love to explore them all.

Maybe I am Overly Sensitive but…

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Not even sure what to call this post. I try to not be too emotional on social media, try not to share too much of the heavy stuff. Obviously, losing Manny has been one of the most painful experiences of my life. I acknowledge the pain and sadness, but mostly try to share positive and uplifting memories. There is no denying though that this has been a tornado of emotions beyond just grief and sadness. I thought I would blog about them, some of these harder emotions and waves/phases of grief. That way if you really want to hear about it, you have to come here and I am not forcing this heaviness upon you in your social media feed.

So, for now I want to start with something that I guess you would say really triggered me. A comment from a stranger that kinda shocked me. On one of my Instagram posts sharing some pictures of Manny and talking about how I miss him a random stranger decided to comment and ask what happened, while also throwing out their own assumption. Total stranger who doesn’t know Manny and doesn’t know me personally. Appears to be a drummer, probably follows me because of that. I do not follow him and no mutual friends.

His comment “Sorry to hear about your loss. He looks very young, as do you! Do you mind me asking what happened? Was he unhappy?”

Ok, so mostly seems supportive, and was polite in his asking, but then the “Was he unhappy” is what really upset me. Not just anger, but a whole flood of emotions.

Why ask what happened and then follow it was “Was he unhappy?” which is basically asking if it was suicide, right? Like why even throw that in there? It’s like you asked what happened but seems like you already painted a picture in your mind. I didn’t even respond.

No, he wasn’t sad and no it wasn’t suicide. BUT…I did lose my mother to suicide and so that comment hit hard and agitated me. I was offended and shocked someone would ask a stranger that. Why would you just assume that anyway? Just because he is young? Why even ask it that way? If it was a suicide loss, how do you think that would make a person feel, being asked that question that way. And if it was a suicide, it is none of your business unless someone decides that they want to share that detail. I don’t think that is a question that should be asked directly to anyone.

BTW depression isn’t just “Sadness” you know. It is more feeling like a burden and hopeless and just a gut wrenching pain that is both physical and mental, and completely reality distorting. It is hiding your pain with a smile and not letting anyone know the depths of torment you feel within your soul.

Yes, I could be overreacting, and I know he meant no harm, probably thought he was being kind and supportive. Just one of those things that has been eating at me since I saw it, and I needed to put it out there.

My opinion is that politely asking how someone passed is fine, but it is up to that person if they want to share those details. Assuming anything, especially if you don’t personally know them, is rude. What do you think?

Follow Me on Patreon!

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https://www.patreon.com/Mindeejorgensen

Hey friends! I started a Patreon account, and would love it if you checked it out!

This will be a great place to support me on my drumming journey. You will have access VIP video blog posts, longer drum clips, full song drum covers, and watch my progress as I learn a new instrument, keyboards!

There will also be a section just for students! If you enjoy my mini lessons, you need to check this out. I will give longer, more in depth video lessons, take lesson requests, give lessons on full cover songs, and also offer my student supporters a chance for one on one drum chats!

See you on Patreon! Thanks!

Drumming Clinic May 23rd- Get Your Ticket Now!

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https://www.ticketor.com/beatkeepers/tickets/creativity-in-drum-beats-and-fills-239198?r=637872906655338020

Hey friends! Next Monday, May 23rd I will be giving a clinic through Beat Keepers on constructing creative beats and fills.

We will discuss using rests, doubles, rudiments and overlapping patterns to get away from straightforward beats and fills, with the goal of developing our own creative styles.

We will also focus on creating grooves that blend in with the song and the other instruments while still allowing us to get playful with our rhythms.

It is going to be a really fun clinic so grab your ticket now!!

https://www.ticketor.com/beatkeepers/tickets/creativity-in-drum-beats-and-fills-239198?r=637872906655338020

I also have a couple slots open for private lessons, so if you are interested in learning drums or improving on your skills, give me a message. We can set up a free consultation to discuss your drumming goals and how I can help you reach them.

Mindeedrums@gmail.com